i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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