I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
