i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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