Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
