There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
