Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
