Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
