In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
