I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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