Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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