I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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