And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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