It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize