i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
