so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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