reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
