I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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