nutella sex= disaster
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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