I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
