Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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