Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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