What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
