I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
