Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
