Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
