is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize