I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
