I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
