you guys were way drunker than both of me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
