Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
