She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
