I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
