Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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