I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
