is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
