"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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