I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
