i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize