just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
