: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
