I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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