just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize