What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
