We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
