Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize