dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The best revenge is premature balding
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
