He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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