Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize