The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
