So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
