omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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