I could have mohawked her pubes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
