D3 body, D1 cock
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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