Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
