How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
