its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
