I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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