Already got asked if we're dating
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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