i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
