brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
