I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
