You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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