Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
