so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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