I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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