Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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