Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
