i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
