ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
