I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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