I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
