And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize