Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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