i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
