we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
