I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
