i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
