there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We had to coat check the pizza.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
