He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
