I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
